Blogs @ KolyaFloit.com

So I’ve been working on a new sweater for several months now.  I’m lazy as all heck when it comes to knitting though so it’s gonna take me a while.  In the meantime I’ve decided to make myself a new coat.  I’ve been making and designing clothes since I was about eight, but I’ve never made anything from a pattern before.  I’d just tell my grandma what I wanted and she’d tell me how to make it so this is going to be interesting.  Luckily, K’s used to working from patterns so he’s helping me out.

This is the pattern I’m using, with some minor modifications.  I’m skipping the front pockets and doing side pockets instead and putting a liner on the entire inside rather than just in the sleeves.  I also had to use the medium body with large sleeves because I have ridiculously long arms, but that’s something I’ve gotten used to.

I also got these really awesome buttons that I’m going to use.  They’re this cool nautical/English schoolboy design so they fit in with my style perfectly.  If I have any left over (I may have one or two) I think I may have to make a matching coat for Me!Bear.

It’s just really nice to be designing again.  It’s been a long time because I’ve not had the time or money so now I’m all excited.  With any luck I’ll be able to get back into it so I can also make a few other things I’ve had my eye on.  One of the advantages to having a black and white dresscode is that it forces me to either [a] spend a ridiculous amount of money on designer stuff (which I don’t have) or [b] make my own clothes.  Making my own clothes is definitely more cost effective…

Since there’s a good chance my marriage is no longer valid in California* K and I have decided to get married again.  It started off as “well, we can be married in Connecticut…” and turned into a discussion on each of the weddings we’d like to have.  We’ve titled this tour Schlepping Down the Aisle and while not all of the states involved currently allow gay marriage it’s at least a fun thing to keep our minds off of how screwed we got.

1. Pride Wedding in San Francisco, CA - We’ve already done this one and it will always be my favourite.  It’s a perfect embodiment of who we are as individuals and as a couple: the very gay, non-Stepford guys with a penchant for social activism.
2. Lighthouse Wedding in Connecticut - I’ve got a thing with nautical themes.  Plus, Connecticut is one of the few states where we can be legally married so why not?  There’ this adorable beach in New Haven with a lighthouse and a 20s era carousel that we’re thinking of getting married at.
3. Broadway Wedding in New York, NY - Ok, c’mon, what’s gayer than Broadway?  I think it’d be awesome to stand in the middle of the street with an officiant and a couple of friends and just get married.  I don’t know that it’s actually possible to stand still without getting trampled, but it’s a nice thought for if NY passes gay marriage.
4. Stonewall Wedding in New York, NY - Stonewall marks the beginning of the modern gay rights movement.  Compton’s was first, but everyone forgets that (and it doesn’t exist anymore…) so Stonewall it is.
5. Emerald City Wedding in Toronto, ON - Alright, so we’re not Canadian.  Who cares, it’s not like the rights from California transferred to us in DC anyway.  Besides, Toronto’s awesome and it’s nicknamed the Emerald City.  That’s just fun.
6. Parallel Wedding in Harrisburg, PA - Pennsylvania was the first state to repeal its anti-miscegenation law (in 1780).  I think it’s important to recognise that this is not the first time we’ve kept people from marrying.  A proposition to take away interracial marraige would cause riots now, but states still banned it up until Loving vs Virginia in 1966.
7. Queer as Folk Wedding in Pittsburgh, PA - Yes, I realise the show was filmed in Toronto.  It was set in Pittsburg though and I’ve already got Toronto on the list.
8. Supreme Court Wedding in Washington, DC - When federally recognised gay marriages are finally allowed I want to be married in front of the Supreme Court.  I don’t know that I’ll still be alive when that happens (check out the interracial marriage timeline), but it’d be nice.
9. London Calling Wedding in London, UK - Another one where we can’t have any of the rights, but I love London.  Plus, having at least one in the UK is the only way my “family” will be able to come as Mum can’t really fly.
10. Up Yours Wedding in Topkea, KS - Right in front of Fred Phelps’ house.  I just want to piss the fucker off.
11. Historical Wedding in Amsterdam, Netherlands - First country to legalise gay marriage.
12. Historical Wedding (II) in Boston, MA - I actually really despise Boston (it scares me, too much like Manchester), but they did have the first legal gay marriages in the US.
13. Minneapolis, MN - In 1970 Jack Baker and James Michael McConnell applied for a marriage license.  After being refused they took a case through to the Supreme Court (which refused to hear the case).  From what I can find this was the first time a gay/lesbian couple refused to accept that they could not be married.

*Legally speaking the courts HAVE to invalidate it, there are too many complications otherwise.

I am a fairly intelligent person.  I have an IQ in the 150 range (that’s really high). I qualify for membership in not only Mensa, but also the Triple Nine Society and that’s without modifications for my ADHD.  I can do calculus equations that most people never understand in my head.  I learned to read when I was two, wrote my first novel-length work of fiction when I was ten, and could give the oral arguments for a dissertation on a very specific subgroup of HIV+ persons right now even though I’ve never gone to med school (hell, I haven’t even finished a college course).

I should theoretically be able to write this ridiculously easy essay for cosmetology school in my sleep.  In fact, I should be able to do it while in a deep coma.  Instead I’ve been staring at a blank screen for three hours because I don’t know where to begin.

I try.  It’s not like I don’t try, I really have been attempting to do this stupid thing.  I just can’t start.  I don’t know how to format it, I don’t know how to introduce each of the paragraphs, I don’t know any number of tiny little things that are keeping me from starting.  It’s ridiculous.

Ridiculous and making me feel stupid.  I hate feeling stupid.  I thought I was stupid for most of my life because no one thought it was important to tell me that I’m smart.  They thought just pulling me out of class to work with special teachers and calling my parents in to talk every month would be fine, no one wanted me to get a big head.  Problem is, when only you and the kid with the hearing aid get pulled out you assume there’s something wrong.  I didn’t find out why I was treated differently until I was 13 so now I’m insanely sensitive about feeling dumb.  That really doesn’t help me finish the damned paper.

Thirteen Things About Yesterday

1. Obama won.  That’s good.
2. CNN and every other news network proclaimed a huge leap for civil rights.
3. There was partying in front of the White House.  That was pretty cool.
4. Historic African-American turnout helped give Obama a complete sweep of…well, damned near everything.
5. About 30 new Democratic pick-ups in Congress.  Yay.
6. At least 10 of the new members of Congress (from both sides, but mostly Dems) are women.
7. Florida, Arizona, and Arkansas adopted anti-gay measures.
8. California’s Prop 8 is still up in the air 24 hours later.
9. It’s been called as a loss for gay rights, but there are 3-4 million absentee ballots to be counted (I’m not holding out much hope).
10. While California went to Obama by about 60%, Prop 8 only has about 48% opposing it (Prop 8 is bad, we wanted people to vote against it).
11. Approximately 70% of African American women in California voted for Obama AND Prop 8.
12. Hispanic and white voters rejected Prop 8 (barely, but enough).
13. Everyone is still patting themselves on the back for living in a country with “equality for all”.

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

I’m sitting here watching the CNN poll data at 1AM when I have to be up by 7.  Why?  Because I don’t know if I’ll still be married when I leave for school.

In reality the ban wouldn’t affect me much.  I live in DC so I don’t get any of the benefits of a California marriage and I obviously don’t get any of the federal benefits.  According to my FAFSA I’m still a dependent student, according to DC hospitals K still can’t visit me if I get sick.  That doesn’t stop the complete and utter despair that starts slowly setting in every time I look at the current reports.

California is the most liberal state in the country.  It’s quite possibly the most liberal place in the world.  If we can’t get a popular vote on gay marriage then no one can.  Not only would a ban on gay marriage completely invalidate my marriage, it would set the gay rights movement back about two decades.  This is the kind of thing that sets 40 other actions in motion, it can determine how the movement goes from here on.

There are other gay bans on various state ballots, but California is the one everyone is watching.  Why?  Because it’s the only one we really thought we had a chance of winning.  Florida, Arkansas, Arizona we knew we were going to lose.  Even with Florida somehow going Democrat, there wasn’t going to be a whole lot of support for gay marriage.  California is possible though.  It’s possible and everyone expects us to win because that’s how the rest of the country views our state.

Those of us who live there know better.  We know and appreciate how wonderfully diverse our state is, even if it does sometimes mean we get screwed over.  We know that for every out and proud drag queen there is a religious conservative.  We know that every little gain is going to require a fight, but we also know that we’re up for the challenge.

That’s actually why I’m worried.  I’m afraid we’re stuck in that place between overly confident and petrified by failure.  So I sit and watch and hope that I’ll be able to function tomorrow.

Thirteen Reasons I Want to Work at Red Door

1. Uh, Elizabeth Arden?  Can we say diva?
2. Domestic partner benefits
3. Pay doesn’t exactly suck
4. I can specialise and work solely with colour
5. It’s a level of posh I understand
6. Locations in DC, NY, SF, and London
7. Benefits include full medical, dental, vision, disability, and medication (not common in my industry)
8. I can start my training year while I’m in school
9. Children aren’t allowed in unless they’re receiving services (I like kids, but not while I’ve got sharp objects and/or dangerous chemicals in my hands)
10. Their services include a special “gentlemen’s” line — including “Grooms Day Services”
11. Essentially opens the door for me to work where I want if I need a change
12. I get to put on a fashion show to complete my training
13. They’re pretty…

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

How long does it take you to get out of bed in the morning? Depends on the day.  If I’m going to school I’m actually not horrible about it because I know there’s somewhere I need to be and I loathe being late.  Especially since if I’m even a minute late getting to class they’ll send me home.  If I don’t have anywhere specific that I need to be at…I’ll stay in bed all day.  I’m horrible about doing things if I don’t have a set deadline and severe penalties for not making that deadline.

Do you usually sleep on one side of the bed or another? I’m on the right because K’s on the left.  If I have the bed to myself I usually sprawl out diagonally across the entire thing.  Actually, sometimes I do that accidentally anyway and K ends up having to poke me so he doesn’t fall off.

Something you wish to accomplish before the end of the year: I’d really like a job.  It’s driving me nuts that I don’t have one already.  I also can’t stand the idea of not having my own money before Christmas and Hanukkah, K’s already planning all sorts of presents for me and I have no idea what to do if I don’t get a job soon.  I’ve always preferred giving presents to getting them so the holidays will pretty much blow for me if I can’t do that.

Graham Webb has a rule that we are not allowed to talk about politics, religion, or basically anything controversial in school.  It’s a rule that makes sense because we’re going into hair dressing and stylists tend to hear more about people’s personal lives than therapists, but it causes some problems for me.

See, I’m used to being able to immediately tell who I can or can’t say certain things to.  I’m gay, Jewish, and pretty fucking liberal.  I’m used to being around people who are also liberal and therefore see no problems with my being any of those things.  I’m also used to people who are blatantly homophobic or overly Christian.  I’m even used to people who fall somewhere in between any of those things.  However, I’m usually allowed to find out by talking to them.  In this case that’s not possible

For example, there are a few girls in my class who are really nice, really fun, generally all around good people to hang out with.  Under most circumstances I’d have no issues with continuing to hang out with them, but lately I’ve just been getting a weird feeling.  I’m slowly finding out that these are girls who feel like they need to bathe after being asked for change from a homeless man, who say that a black girl in class is better at finger waves because it’s an “ethnic hairstyle” (right…because when you think of flappers you totally think of a black lady), who seem to think that San Francisco has more homeless people because it’s liberal.  I don’t know that these are people I want to associate with.

At the same time, they’re nice girls.  They’re sweet and polite and I don’t think they’d ever honestly want to hurt someone.  I just don’t know where I stand with them.  I don’t know where that line is drawn between “homeless people freak me out” and “gays are evil”.  I don’t know what’s classified as OK behaviour and what’s not.  Some people are fine with gay people as long as we stay in areas we’re “meant” to be so the gay hairdresser is fine.  Others don’t want us to “act gay” meaning I’m screwed with them no matter what.  A ton of it is just a lack of education, I don’t think anyone at my school would be honestly homophobic if they were called on it.  I mean, they’ve all met our admissions advisor who is pretty damned gay.

I just don’t know where I stand and that freaks me out.  The first time I had lunch with the girls in my class I was the only one who didn’t pray over my food.  They realise I’m Jewish so that’s not an issue, but it’s still weird.  How am I meant to know who I can talk about my wedding with and who I can’t?  How do I know which girls are fine with me talking about Hannakuh when they talk about Christmas and which aren’t?

It’s something I’m still getting used to.  At the moment I think I’m going to keep a bit of a distance until I can figure out just how close I want to get to anyone.  I hate that I even have to, but it’s so much easier than being disappointed later.

Thirteen Things I Love About Cosmetology School:

1. I’ve yet to have a lecture be more than two hours long
2. Homework is weekly rather than daily
3. No one even notices my ADD because there’s so much movement and task changing
4. It’s a safe place to be a flamingly gay man
5. Apparently I’m a natural at hair styling
6. Even if finger waves suck ass, I know that I’ll likely never have to do them once I’m out of school
7. There’s a fashion show every year that we get to style for
8. Some of the most amazing names in hair come to talk to everyone — including us newbies
9. In addition to being all around fun, the school also hosts fundraisers for things like leukemia research
10. The instructors are largely awesome.  Including one who is apparently amazing with colourwork
11. It has a nice, laid-back feel that works with my Californian sensibilities
12. My classmates may not understand my deconstructed pony-hawk, but the instructors do
13. Naming my mannequins Kelly (Clarkson) and Jackie O. is perfectly appropriate

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

A girl serving in Iraq rescued a dog from a burning trash pile and now she wants him sent to her home in Minnesota.

Now, I’m sure the DoD has a decent reason for not allowing service members to bring home strays.  They could have diseases, you don’t know where they’ve been, having a dog in the unit causes worries about people trying to save their pet when they should be helping everyone around them, it’s basically asking for a problem.  That said…I’d so do something like that. I LOVE animals and if I managed to make myself a furry friend while stationed overseas I’d obviously want to bring it home with me.  I also think having a pet would do wonders for unit morale, there’s nothing like a puppy to cheer you up and make you feel safe.