The point at which *I* start worrying about my health is usually the point at which there’s a problem.

I’m used to being at least somewhat ill.  Asthma, allergies, insomnia, epilepsy, clinical depression, random immune system issues no one understands, these are all things I’ve been dealing with since birth.  Most of the time it no longer phases me.  Unless I’m having a particularly bad day I don’t even notice.

Except now I’m starting to get a bit freaked out.  Epilepsy acting up, fine.  Annoying, but it’s easy enough to handle.  Sudden bouts of memory loss are a bit more disturbing and mean I can’t leave the apartment on my own which is driving me slightly insane, but it’s not exactly life threatening.  Not being able to breathe is a bit of a different story.  Having to make a concentrated effort to take a full breath is something I haven’t had to deal with since I was six.  Being winded and having asthma attacks during allergy season are normal enough, pain while breathing if I’m cold is an issue I’ve dealt with forever (though it was less of an issue in California).  This is in a controlled environment while resting.  That’s not usually a good sign.

I have to see a million and one doctors anyway so obviously I’ll bring it up, I just really hate that I have to.  I hate bringing up anything new to doctors, it always ends up with someone telling me I’m dying.  I’m getting a little sick of being told I’m dying.  Particularly since one of these days they’re going to be right.

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