I’ve been ranting quite a bit lately in various ways.  If it’s not the Rifqa Bary clusterfuck then it’s yelling at people who don’t understand poverty or parents about to kick out their gay teens.

While I generally do like to rant (it’s cheaper than therapy), I think it’s time for a change.  Which is why I thought The Gratitude Challenge would be a really cool thing to do.  It’s a 21-day challenge and it tends to take most people about that time to form a habit.  I kind of hate September (long story) so now’s a great time to start.  Unfortunately, you only get the daily assignments if you’re part of their group of bloggers and none of them seem to be updating daily (or using all of the prompts) so there will be no rhyme or reason to mine.  Too bad really, I like prompts.

…I think those last couple of sentences may have just hit on why I need a change in thinking pattern.  On to new things!  Instead of following a prompt I’m going to blog about something I’m grateful for every day.  With any luck it’ll stick.

Today I am thankful that Parker and I have enough money to get by.  It’s not a ton, there’s very little (if any) room for extras, and we still struggle some months, but we’re fed and clothed and sheltered and that’s what counts.  When I was very young my mother didn’t make enough to support our family.  My father had run off, she was making minimum wage, and cities are expensive to live in.  I didn’t realise it at the time,  but she often skipped meals so that us kids could eat.  Eventually things got better, but for several years we were too poor for much beyond ramen and bologna sandwiches, which isn’t so great when you have growing children (including one with special health needs).

I had forgotten just how bad things were until a post in a forum I frequent complained about a mother taking her young son to the laundromat without having any toys for him to play with.  At my house we didn’t have toys.  We entertained ourselves with our imaginations and whatever we could scavenge from outside.  Compared to those days Parker and I are positively rich.  We have a kitchen stocked with healthy food, cable, high speed internet, relatively new laptops, an apartment in a nice neighbourhood, air conditioning in summer, and heat and warm clothes and quilts in summer.

I am disappointed that I haven’t been able to get back to London in over a year.  I miss my family and my home.  However, we’re able to go to San Francisco for Pride, to visit Parker’s family for just about every major holiday and a week in the summer, and even managed to see a friend get married in Georgia last week.  Each trip requires some advanced planning so we can budget properly, but my family couldn’t have even imagined visiting friends on the other side of town.  The bus fare was just more than we could spend.

Plus, we do have some spare money for hobbies and things like that.  Parker sings with the GMCW (he’s absolutely adorable in his tux), I’ll be going back to the Strokes next season (assuming my health gets sorted), and we have far more crafting supplies than we could ever possibly go through.  In fact, we have so many we’re not sure what to do with them all.

So while we may not be rich (or even middle class right now), we’re still doing much better than many families.  We have all our basic necessities plus a little and we’ll be doing even better once I’m well enough to be working.

One thing that is continuing to be brought up in the comments to my post about Rifqa Bary is that the Quar’an calls for death to apostates.  People insist that since this is written (it’s not) everyone must follow it.  However, they fail to realise that similar things could be said about their own religion.  How?  Let’s take a look.

Matthew 28:19-20 calls for Christians to “make disciples of all nations”.  Acts 1:8 sends a similar “make everyone Christian” message.  Many claim that these combined call for Christians to create converts by whatever means necessary.

Don’t think this happens?  In 2006 a radical Christian group known as the Christian Retribution Organization of the World kidnapped a Muslim man in Alabama and held him hostage until he agreed to convert.  The organisation was calling for the conversion of all Muslims in the US and said they would kidnap one Muslim man a week until they got their way.

We can look further back in history for more examples.  Crypto-Jews/Crypto-Muslims came about during the Crusades.  When given the choice between death and conversion to Christianity millions of Jews and Muslims chose to claim conversion while maintaining their true beliefs in secret (including my own family).

The Native Americans have been subject to forced conversions since Columbus (the Vikings weren’t interested).  The Spanish and French set up extensive programmes to convert “their” Natives with the Spanish being the most successful by far.  In addition to what we now consider more traditional conversion practices, both countries passed laws banning the practice of Native religious rituals, something that had been done with Pagans for centuries.  The Brits (eventually Americans) were slightly more lenient, adopting a policy of “civilising” the Natives with presents.

Of course, they then rounded up all Native children and sent them away to boarding schools where they were forced to speak English and give up their non-Christian religion.  So much for being humane.

As we can see, Christianity has a history of forcing people to convert.  Their holy text calls for the conversion of all people.  Therefore, we should all fear Christians because they will steal our children and beat them until they accept Jesus.

Right?

Maybe I’m just bitter.  I’ve been researching my family lately and finding out all sorts of things about how my ancestors were forcibly converted during the Crusades.  I’ve also been reading more and more news articles about Mormons posthumously baptising Jews killed during the Holocaust.  So it’s possible that I’m overly sensitive and inclined to be angry right now.

However, that doesn’t stop me from having some problems believing that Rifqa Bary really is in danger of being killed.  First of all, her parents don’t seem all that devout.  You’d think that if they were willing to kill her for being Christian they’d also have some rules about decollete baring tops.

Second, the Global Revolution Church has a rather questionable name and even more questionable values.  “We believe in a spiritual revolution that will ignite the transformation of our culture,” sounds rather extreme, particularly when combined with “global preparation for the return of Jesus Christ, especially through 24/7 prayer and worship and through raising up end-time messengers.”  Compare that to the more moderate Metropolitan Community Church’s “the Holy Spirit is God making known God’s love and interest to all people. The Holy Spirit is God, available to and working through all who are willing to place their welfare in God’s keeping.”  Neither are messages I’m particularly inclined to listen to (that whole Jewish thing), but at least the second doesn’t make me think we should all go live in a bunker somewhere.

Third, Rifqa shows all the classic signs of fundamentalist brainwashing.  Listen to her speak during this interview.  Notice how she’s using all of the standard Evangalistic buzzwords.  She strays from telling her own story, choosing instead to preach about “the true Jesus” and how Christianity is the one real faith.  She becomes very animated during these moments, an abrupt change from the quiet girl she is when recalling the events before she left.

She states that her “blood is now Halal”, but that makes no sense.  Halal is the term for things that are permissible, if something is wrong or impure then it would be Haraam.  It’s possible I’m getting my Arabic wrong here (I’m certainly not fluent), but at the very least I’m almost positive that Halal is not the word someone who knew about Islamic fundamentalism would use in this instance.  This shouldn’t be surprising seeing as how she looks to a man off to the side of the camera when speaking about honour killings and the Qur’an.

I think what strikes me as most concerning is that she’s going on about becoming a “martyr for Christ.”  This girl is a teenager.  More than that, she’s a teenager who only came into Christianity a short time ago.  How many well adjusted teenagers do you know who would say they are ready to become martyrs for anyone?  How many well adjusted people think that death is something glorious if done in the name of religion?  She should be scared, confused, hurt, but not willing to die.  Being willing to die for a religious figure she has only recently come to know is unhealthy and indicitive of some decent brain washing.

I’ve noticed a rather disturbing trend recently.  Various people between the ages of 25 and 40 complaining that they can’t possibly do anything right because they lack parental support.  These people have all lived away from home for several years (at least two decades in many cases) and blame their parents for their failure to complete college, get a job, or keep a job.

Some of them have other problems.  Many have ADHD and/or Asperger’s.  Some are GLBT.  All are mentally and physically capable of doing the same work as everyone else.  Yet the insist that the reason they aren’t succeeding is the lack of support from their families.

Maybe I’m cynical.  Maybe I’m cruel.  Either way, I’m definitely disgusted.  I was kicked out of my home when I was 15 years old.  I am gay.  I have ADHD (and possibly Asperger’s, but that’s never been diagnosed).  I was diagnosed with clinical depression at age five and have struggled with suicidal episodes for the vast majority of my life.  I have a myriad of random health problems that make day to day life rather difficult (at best).  I do not, have not, and will never blame my parents for my own failure to obtain a degree or get a job (let alone keep a job).

Everyone has problems.  Everyone needs help sometimes.  However, the point at which you have spent seven years a community college or been fired from six jobs in less than a year is the point at which you need to start taking some responsibility for your own actions.  If I fail to get my cosmetology license even after getting the support I need for my ADHD then that is my fault, no one else’s.

Now, is life easy when you have problems and no support system?  Hell no, it sucks.  It sucks A LOT.  Very few things in my life have been easy.  I lived in a friend’s car before I was legally allowed to drive.  I’ve been put on more suicide watches than I can count.  Most of my childhood was spent in the hospital.  My parents are physically and emotionally abusive.  None of this is an excuse to stop trying to live a normal life.

It’s just sickening how many people are willing to blame everything but themselves for their problems.  We’ve become a society of bratty children, all trying to get ahead without actually doing anything.  We didn’t get enough hugs as children or our parents were too strict when we were teenagers.  Bullshit.  You are an adult.  Stop blaming your parents for your mistakes.

Specifically the vanilla with granola and strawberry with…strawberry.  Parker likes the vanilla with blueberry as well, but I’m allergic so I couldn’t try.

The vanilla is like no vanilla I’ve ever had before.  There’s an almost tropical taste hidden in there somewhere, likely from the coconut oil in the granola.  I’d say the granola itself is the reason, but a spoonful of just vanilla tastes more like a pina colada than the classic creamy flavour most people are used to.  As for the granola, let’s just say it’s the first time in my life I’ve been able to eat granola without sulking.

I do recommend getting the strawberry home as soon as humanly possible after purchase.  If it melts even a little it refreezes into a solid mass that has to sit out for 10-15 minutes before it’s soft enough to eat.

http://www.kemps.com/products/prodCategory.aspx?pcc=53&pac=62